So, I returned for a bit.. back to visit..
And so, a lot comes flooding back, as I take simple walks and remember what I was thinking and dealing with just a few years ago. And it's truly still such a bizarre feeling to think any of this happened at all.
I still remember, mainly the confusion.
At first, while I was still psychotic on prednisone, I remember feeling as nothing was of any importance. That have had being arrested was no big deal... that I would simply move to Central America. Live in a campervan and be free. Crazy as it is, this is what I was telling everyone around me. They must have known I had lost my mind. Why didn't they help me at the time? But they also keep saying I need to "take a plea deal"... So, they just wanted me gone I suppose. Anyway...
Then, when the bottom dropped out, once the drugs wore off... I was thrown into a state of total panic and confusion... and I came to understand, as people explained, that all of my odd theories were in fact, untrue... but still, something had been uncovered concerning the Hunter Biden information.
Yet... I knew however, that something else was very wrong with the situation... why was I covered in a rash? And when I secured my medical file... why were the blood tests going back several years, all showing elevated levels of testosterone, showing signs of a blood disorder... all totally out of whack. And why was it I had been told testosterone therapy was needed years previous, when an endocrinologist's report at that time said there was no need for it? I had been lied to. Why?
I knew something had gone very wrong. And when I came to understand 50 mg of prednisone can cause psychosis (and never to be used while someone is on testosterone)... it all fit. The puzzle of what had happened was realized, and I knew it was going to take a lot of work, but it would have to be proven to a court. And it was. All of this was in fact proven as the forensic investigation came to the same conclusions I had been awakened to.
The reality of the situation is that I was deceived about the need for testosterone and never needed it. Today levels are just fine. I was also given far too much of it, for reasons I do not understand even today. And when I became sick because of it, developing polycythemia, the doctors didn't want a thing to do with me. Much of this has been proven in the medical tribunals, mainly, the issue of actual medical error and neglect.
In the matter of illegality... even that was cleared up. What I saw was not illegal, but it was weird and alarming in the context of believing "elites" where trafficking people. And as it turned out, perhaps to some degree, they were? But that's something I don't know much about other than what you might hear on the news about trips to islands and other such dubious news.
In any event, I feel many people do not fully understand what happened. I did try and succeed in having the press meet with me years after the arrest, the dropping of the charges... after all the tribunals... to sort of give some explanation as it has always bothered me to think a medical issue involving my potential death and psychotic episode would be kept unknown.
So, it's my role to make sure it isn't. I was never found guilty by the court, or any professional organization via tribunal... at each turn, each such organization realized what happened, and quietly left me alone.
I just hope in time others, maybe by the next time I visit again... might realize all this too.
