Emails... rumours and reality

Hello again... just want to respond to a few questions.

Not much new, but some have told me not to be so detailed. I don't know, I was just trying to do the best I could to explain all of this... and perhaps you get loss in the weeds. I don't know.

So, after all this time, as things have settled, and I have truly recovered from psychosis and polycythemia (you can review this blog), what happened has become clearer to even me. To start, I was in fact tricked into taking AndroGel; the first time I asked to see an endocrinologist, and did not take to the idea, and the second time, I was lied to about what the endocrinologist's report said. 

So, I became very sick over time, developed polycythemia but was told I had shingles. I proved this and the medical malpractice of being allowed to develop polycythemia.

When I was sick (for about 8 months) I was given 50 mg doses of prednisone while I was taking AndoGel, and this combo sent me into psychosis. And this was proved by forensics. 

Okay, now at this point I became enraged and consumed by episodes of sexual abuse I suffered at the age of ten. Oddly, there was a lot of "Q-Anon" stuff about Epstein, Pizzagate and other such stuff, and I took to the internet. This was the week of Halloween, October of 2019... days before the American election. And so, as it was there was a misinformation "Q-Anon Hunter Biden" laptop disclosure made by GTV Media Group, and I told everyone I could about it. What was actually true and not about this laptop, today I have no idea. 

And as I took more Prednisone, I became totally manic and hallucinatory. In this, I kept looking for some sort of massive conspiracy involving sex trafficking one Monday morning (about 7 am) on my work computer after not sleeping for a few days. 

That's what the investigation concerning me bore out. And for about a year, while authorities were trying to determine what happened, I was questioned and questioned (I assume everything I ever did on a computer was determined), and I just keep saying that I was after this conspiracy, and that I had gone insane. 

I had no intention of anything illegal and rather stumbled upon the Hunter Biden "whatever" which shocked me.  

I was also literally dying of polycythemia. My body was covered on a deep purple rash that itched day and night. Many people saw this rash. My blood was so thick, I actually had some sort of collapse and seizure (likely due to clotting). I was totally impotent as well. Nothing about what happened was in anyway sexual in nature. Given I was psychotic, I had no real insight into just what was happening. 

I believe that once authorities had determined all of this, they likely were shocked; that was my impression anyway, but who knows as I was such a mental disaster, but the legal issues were dropped. Anyway, I went on to prove as much as I could via five legal tribunals as a self-represented person as I had no money for lawyers.

People like rumours, and I get that, but I worked to dispel them and explain the realities. My health today is totally fine. I never needed AndroGel. 

Thoughts of the last 5 years

I am not quite sure why this blog remains helpful. I am not all that sure who is reading it, if it's helpful, or truly what the point is lol. But it helps in a way.

Been a few years since this bizarre left turn took hold of me. I always knew it would be known as to what happened, but the medical issues did totally blindside me. And as the news on what I was after continues to develop... well yes, I hear about it...

So much was altered. It's still rather mind boggling. But if fault is to be given, no real authority ever decided I was at fault. Or that I witnessed what I was suspected of... medical malpractice was proven... and all of this was not of my opinion either, rather, they are legal ones. In the end, the only person found to be at fault in anyway, was the doctor treating me at that time. 

But as I have moved into a very different life now, one of travel, a lot of contemplation I suppose... having been completely humbled and dismantled, I never gave up. That's something I can look back at one day perhaps. Maybe it will help? I think so. 

For a very long time, dreams of life had basically been stripped from me... an extremely painful process as Jung once wrote. And I can say that I have reconstituted now. The dreams are re-emerging... a different constellation yes, but as anyone who has been pulled apart knows, without one's dreams in life, the feeling of being completely lost is real. But I never turned to some combination of vices or such... I just got down to the work of a very long legal process, and then, more of my own legal process to prove as much as I could. The oddest thing about all of this is that once out of the "care" of the medical professionals, I have become myself once more. 

For years, hoodwinked, I had in fact been warped into a very odd person. And now... it's me again, and it literally makes me cry. Not badly as it once did, but while rationally speaking, turning back into yourself might make no sense whatever... but my case is not a rational one, it truly is about some sort of deep betrayal on my life that I still do not yet understand. I know the details, but not the motives. 

In time, as it had occurred to others first, these motives perhaps need time still to distill in me, but I rather expect it all to come to nothing. I might never know. But it all takes time, and since the last 5 years have been a rather frantic time, only now has any sense of calm come over me. And thank God for that. 

People have contacted me via this blog... with questions and such. I don't often answer. But it doesn't mean I don't have many of the same questions myself.   

I have seen the fate of those who have not lived their own lives, and it is simply horrible. People who live out their destiny and fulfill it to the best of their knowledge and abilities have no reason for regret.

- Carl Jung

Guatemala

As things develop, all that I can say is, more is likely to come along in all of this.

During my time of psychosis, it's hard to explain how these things came into my mind. But I was very much involved in world issues at the time... things about the Mexican border and Haiti really spurred what would become a very manic investigation into all things connected to this. But I truly was running off the ether of what was a prednisone induced bipolar mania. 

When I was at the height of this period of time, I was telling everyone I could about my theories. And while I don't want to explain much, those in Nobleton I talked to know just what I told them. 

So as more is exposed, my nutty theories... what are they now? I was not making things up, but yes, it was what my psychosis had led me into. And as said, it is all just so bizarre, but over time I knew that this was all likely to resolve itself. 

At the time, I told authorities the same. I told friends the same. I have, since the start, told of what happened, even when it could not be believed.  

Yet, these days I don't care. It is all very sad, but there is nothing more I can say further to what I said to start. Did I have it all correct? The right names and such? I doubt it. I know I didn't. I had gone psychotic, and at this point, if and when more of what I was on about comes out... but until then... who knows ... so again, this is what I told the forensics...

This is what people around me at that time told forensics...

So, as this just continues, and I know I have been vague about many specifics... but as I said in past posts here, it was always my intention NOT to say anything of my own opinion. Instead, I would/will let others... otherwise I never have felt anything could have even been seriously considered, and due to the psychosis, not even by myself as odd as that might seem. 

People may not understand this, but due to the psychosis, I myself had no clear idea of what had even happened.