Things are getting better...

Hello again,

So as a quick thing... while I have been on the move as it were, things have very much improved. I would say mentally for sure as the post-psychosis has nearly completely embed away now. I know it might seem to beg the question of, "how could it take so long to recover?"

I really don't know, as medical professionals just told me to wait, and eventually, the biochemistry would rebalance, mainly the stress hormones and brain chemistry, I guess. It was always very vague, and I never was truly told how recovery would happen, just that in time it likely would. I don't think anyone really knew. 

Now, I think I am rather close. Close to basically returning to the person I was before the false prescriptions and such, that led to all of this. Overall health-wise, I think I am rather okay now too, as a recent medical evaluation showed. 

What a long journey back from psychosis and polcythemic near death. I still shake my head at the bizarre nature of what happened; the deception at the medical level leaves me still... dumbfounded really. The nature of the Hunter Biden laptop is also rather known now too... not that I care, but obviously it's a key part of this disaster. In a way, it's not possible to get away from it. 

But... I think everything will likely be okay now, and my life back on track. 

I am sorry for all the heartache, but I really never saw it coming. Others seem to have, doctors even... 

Still rather hard to know what to make of it all. But as said, I won't ever give up. 

Better Days Ahead

I suppose it is a good idea to close the book on what happened, and I have tried very hard to do so. I don't hold much animosity towards those who rather tricked me on to a prescription I never needed, or didn't help me as I went through a prednisone psychosis that lead to such calamity... however I needed to tell of what happened. Prove the story as best I could. Many didn't even want me to dare try. But eventually even the press came to realize the true nature of events... https://www.newmarkettoday.ca

And I suppose what happened is all rather hard to believe, but it's all true, although I am still rather confused as to just why what was done to me was; still rather embarrassed by all that happened, but the facts are that I was nearly dead of polycythemia, struggling with a massive rash all over me, truly demented out of my mind by the end, and yeah... not sure what else to say. Some people helped, others didn't, and I can understand that, but not those who seemed to go out of their way to spread rumours and such. But they did, and it's all rather just a sad case really... but the actual authorities concluded my crazy account of events as accurate, so I will leave those who acted against me to ponder what actually occurred. The truth is, many people in Nobleton knew what had happened... perhaps they were unsure of the details, but they knew and told the court as much. I really wish some I know of would have kept their rumour and speculation to themselves, as it only served to hurt others close to all of this. 

The reality is, I never saw anything illegal. But it was very alarming and weird, and yet my memories of it are embedded in being totally manic, so in reality, what I thought was happening was not. It's all very difficult to explain. What I thought I discovered did not exist as the psychosis had me thinking, and even today, concerning what happened, it's hard to deal with memories that do not match-up with reality. I still cannot accept that what happened actually happened, simply due to a basic situation of medical mismanagement. I never will in all honesty. I had been lied to about ALL of it, the need for testosterone to the false shingles idea... and in my opinion, given the disastrous fall-out, it is all unforgivable. Perhaps God can forgive those involved, I have nothing to do with it. 

Robert Aurich; Psychosis and worse. | Medium

Likely best to put the details in the past... there is so much to this, but I will now leave it alone; post the official records of events and let people, hopefully, come to realize that the authorities are the best explanation of events. Not rumours, my account... or anyone else's for that matter.

In case people still are unclear, here is what the court determined. This is what happened, and in my opinion, and most professionals who looked into this matter, how and why it all happened is the most disturbing element of my case. 

 

 

Yet I suspect many, back in Nobleton and KCSS, think my explanation is made-up... but it isn't. With the last investigation, I was self-represented, and all was withdrawn... there was no lawyer on my side, able to "get me out of it", I just stated what happened.

2024onoct12.pdf (canlii.org)

The evidence was rather clear to as what had happened, as bizarre as it was; basically a case of medical mismanagement, leading me into some sort of psychotic misadventure to try to unravel why I had been abused as a kid. And all of that is very much similar, as I began to suspect as it were, while psychotic; rather in a sort of rage about it.

...

But many like the rumour more than the fact. Not much I can do about it, and as a result, I have no interest in teaching, no interesting in having to provide endless explanations, and truly, it's just a bad idea, likely leading to more rumour and such. No thanks. I will take my life and leave that scene. 

So for me, yes, better days ahead as I am now set to move on from this. In a big way too, and a very hopeful future actually...yet, I sadly leave behind a lot of what my life once was, enough to bring tears to my eyes rather often, but such is life. You can only control what you can, and for the longest time, that basic control over my own life had been hijacked by medical falsehoods that again, nearly killed me; turned into a psychotic disaster on massive doses of steroids I never needed. It boggles the mind as to how it could have even happened. But I know the basic details... 

And so I am just thankful, that I am myself once more.   

Maybe people will come to understand what happened one day, but until then, I wish whomever I knew all the best. 

Recovery from Psychosis

When I was in recovery, having no clue about psychosis, I tried my best to find accounts to help me know I would survive it; and it was always VERY hopeful when I did. I hope this account of recovery helps whomever is in recovery themselves.

Still Manic

First, when I was manic from having taken the Prednisone, this state lasted for a few weeks after having taken the last dosage. I felt, even after the arrest, that everything was just perfectly fine. To say I was clueless is an understatement beyond what I can express here. I remember having some very bizarre ideas, and one day I will post more. But briefly, the mania ended in a sort of step-down approach, and then a total depression took hold, but a sort of manic depression. It was a very dangerous period, and I am lucky to have survived it. I will just say that extremely dangerous ideas of self-harm came over me, and they seemed like the only way to escape the complete feeling of having lost my mind. Anxiety yes, but mixed with delusions and depression. It's was terrifying. 

Oddly, I didn't even understand this at the time. I do remember talking to a therapist very early on, and ranting on and on to him, to which at one point he stopped me and said, "You are not okay. Does it feel like your mind is a shattered mirror?" I remember hearing this, and wondering what he was talking about. Soon after the bottom fell-out, and I found myself crying for about 4 days straight, uncontrollably and without end. I started to notice elements of my mind were at odds with each other; I could sense a buried voice "hiding" from a much more enraged one. And for weeks, I sort of just survived this.

When I began to come back to my mind, recovery was, oddly perhaps, not anything I was thinking of, and I do think institutionalized medical care is 100% needed for people in this state. As I said, I am lucky to have survived this period, and made attempts to ensure I wouldn't. At one point, I actually jumped out of a moving car. 

Recovery

Here is what I did. 

To start the idea was to calm down, and the only way I found I could do this was to listen to music. Ambient Music. I could not sleep, and would listen to this type of music to allow me focus my mind as best I could on the music. This was perhaps the biggest single thing I did to help myself. 

Sleeping was a major issue, as was waking up in the middle of the night in complete panic attacks. When this happened each night, Writing a Journal, was very helpful. I would often start writing just to calm myself down, and much of what I wrote (looking back at it) makes no sense. But it did help me make sense of what was happening at the time.

The Bible. This may not be a popular idea for some, and before all of this, it wouldn't have been for me, however, do not discount the wisdom of the bible to help one navigate rough waters. I don't care what anyone says, if you haven't been through the anguish of tragedy (or psychosis), you don't understand, so if whomever you know is finding some sort of spiritual resource helpful, accept that it is helpful. 

Walking. Although I could not do this for more than an hour at best without becoming totally exhausted, it was very important. As odd as it is, I found taking a walk to the cemetery helpful, as if I broke down crying, I could sit on a bench and no one would think much of it. But being outside also sort of helped bring my mind into an immediate reality rather than being coopted up inside. 

T.V. This was also helpful for a mental escape. I would watch an old private investigator show, and sort of religiously follow along. I am not sure watching T.V. all day is a good idea, but I did come to enjoy watching this one show. I think it served as an escape, and still rather mentally unstable, I really did begin to identify with the show. I think it helped. 

Talking with Others. This was very important, and likely it was most important to talk to someone as soon as I woke in the morning (normally really early.) Looking back, when someone is trying to recover, it seems to be that they (I did) need a daily reminder of what reality is. So if you are helping someone recover, and yes it will become VERY repetitive, but just allow the person to talk, and remind them they will recover. You may get a 4 am phone call, but please be patient. This, as it was in my case, might go on for a year. The only thing someone recovering from psychosis needs, is for them to know someone cares, and that there is hope.

Focus the Mind. When the time comes, you will have to come to focus your mind. How you do this is up to you, and in my case, I began to study Spanish. At first, I was just writing out the language without understanding, but overtime, my mind began to focus. A language is a very low-impact idea I think, and can be done at a local library in the silence you will likely need anyway. The accomplishment months into this study is also something to be proud of, and real. I also began to play golf. Again to focus the mind, and depending on the day and how you feel, you can play alone or with others. It's also a low impact sport, and can be made inexpensive if you do it right.

Continued Odd Actions. For me, and perhaps this is advice for the people impacted by the psychotic person, for a long while, I truly could not be reasoned with. I still, for a long while, had odd ideas come into my mind (like a worldwide letter writing campaign of some sort, travelling to distance places, living in a van... at one point I had an fascination with pens, and also started collecting due-date bag clips from loafs of bread, etc.) I would become very upset if challenged, so it's a balancing act on how to deal with this; I can now fully appreciate it, but did not at the time. For the person recovering, if ideas you have are being challenged, in all likelihood, they are not good ones. That said, you will need to do what is needed to recover, and many won't understand that either.

So then, there is also the obvious concern of not surrounding yourself with people who think psychosis is something you can "snap out" of, and just want you to rush back to normal life. This will not happen. The best thing to do is listen to experts in mental health; just listen to them as hard as it might be as they have seen psychosis before, know what it is, how people recover, and will offer an outside, professional, reality of the situation. Accept what they tell you! I won't offer any medical ideas, other than to say that.

I hope that helps. And good luck, you'll make it! There is a contact form on the three bars if you wish.

Medical Tribunal #2

2023 CanLII 16834 (ON HPARB) | Aurich v Haleem | CanLII

In coming to understand all of why it was this happened, the next tribunal process I entered will be explained. To start, I made a complaint that was initially viewed as "vexatious", to which I appealled and won.

Months later, a second conclusion was completed, which stated in part, that I was medically mismanaged and did in fact have polycythemia (this conclusion has been included with another post.) Moving along, the basic idea is simple; doctors KNEW I had this potential fatal blood condition and did not tell me. I was told it could be shingles, and people in Nobleton know this to be the case. It clearly wasn't.

So as it was, for 8 months I just sort of suffered, took the prescribed prednisone, until my mind was so badly affected it left reality. I can now think back to this process, but at the time I was rather desperate and in a lot of physical pain from an entire body rash the polycythemia brought on. Here is the final assessment of the re-review of the tribunal...

And, importantly, at the end I had begun to think some VERY odd things, and importantly, was telling everyone about it; "pizza-gate" theories and the like:

People may not have know just what exactly had happened, but they knew I had mentally come apart.

What is also rather interesting is that upon, being questioned by authorities, the people closest to the situation did not mention any of this; my odd behavior, crazy theories, extremely poor medical condition, or the medications I was on. 

When authorities visited me some months later to tell me they were no longer interested, they also explained that they had now come to realize I was in some sort of bipolar event when originally detained, basically rambling on for 3 hours about my bizarre ideas... it is clear to me now, that I very well must have seemed very guilty of something... but I was delusional... psychotic... saying things that likely did not make sense... but also, they did not seem to understand why they were not made aware of the medical details at the time. 

Same can be said of me. I have no idea. You would think mentioning that someone was going on and on about bizarre sex cult theories while covered in a complete body rash, AND, on 50 mgs of Prednisone might have been important!

I think this could have turned out rather differently, perhaps I would have not been charged, I don't know, but I do know that the forensics did get to the truth of what others actually knew.

Medical Tribunal #1

2022 CanLII 119909 (ON HPARB) | Aurich v Stefanovich | CanLII

I will now aim to explain the first medical tribunal, hopefully bringing out points which will help to also explain why what happened did. In this manner, it is my final objective to show my complete vindication. I believe, and have for some time now, that this will happen. I will make a number of posts to explain. This will be the first one. 

___

To start, some 10 years after I was erroneously placed on Androgel, and four years since coming off the prescription, my testosterone levels are completely normal. This alone proves there was no need for the prescription. 

I will now delve into the tribunal. 

First Concern:

• (the doctor) did not take the time to follow the Endocrinologist’s recommendations to determine if the Applicant indeed had hypogonadism before prescribing AndroGel again in 2013, given the Applicant had been off the medication for four years and had returned to normal testosterone levels.

This was indeed the case as an endocrine report from 2009 stated I did not need Androgel, as follows:

So what were the circumstances? Previous to me being placed on Androgel, I had fallen sick to mono in 2013, and was sick in bed at my parents home. I did not connect to the doctor in question about mono or anything else as my own family doctor had ALREADY confirmed I had mono. This doctor was my mother-in-law's and it was either herself or my ex-wife who made the contact. I DID NOT.

I was then told over the phone that the endocrine report of 2009 stated Androgel was needed. THIS WAS FALSE. I also did not visit this doctor to pick-up the prescription, instead the prescription was delivered to me at my parent's home. I began the prescription under false information. 

Second Concern:

• prescribed AndroGel at a high dose (17.5-5 mg per day), yet did not appropriately monitor testosterone levels via blood work to support higher than recommended doses of AndroGel (in 2013)

Some may think this prescription was given to me out of some concern for my health. This seems dubious at best. To start, the standard dose of Androgel is 5 mg/day, and so, why was 17.5 mg/day given? As far as anyone can tell me, there can have been no medical justification for such a high dose.

I should also add that the tribunal repeatably makes mention of depression; this is not valid as the reason I felt terrible was due to a sinus issue and vertigo. Here is what the criminal forensics' report disclosed:

The doctor was well aware of my issue with vertigo (aka Meniere's Syndrome) in 2009. It was not depression, and this fact was not included in the tribunal's findings. In any event, my testosterone levels were then raised to a level that exceeded the laboratories ability to test for the actual value, thus " >170". 

In a response dated August 19th 2021, the January 3rd reading was described as, "In January 2014, a laboratory report showed the free testosterone level greater than 170 (31-94 range). The Respondent (doctor) suspected that this could have been an error, as the accuracy of this number was highly questionable." So perhaps the lab instrumentation was broken? Regardless, on February of that same year, the level was measured at 166.5. It was then lower in March, but then... as the prescription was rather oddly managed,

Does this seem to reflect normal medical practice?

I never suffered from depression. And so, the issue of vertigo was corrected with surgery in 2010, and I was rather okay afterward. 

No blood test was done previous to me being placed on it in 2013. Any claim of this is false.  

So, why the Androgel in 2013? 

And again, in case it has been forgotten, my testosterone levels today, are fine. That is proof beyond all else, as people with low testosterone at the age of 38 do not suddenly recover at the age of 49.